HERE'S TO YOU.....

                                                                                HERE'S TO YOU..... (January 7, 2009)

Was it love that made you trust me with your kept secrets in life? Was it love that made you so affectionate that night that i melted on my seat? Was it your true feelings that made me tremble when you wrote something on that lil piece of orange paper? Or you were just so influenced by the passing of alcohol thru your blood brain barrier? I used to say that love at first sight, or moments,existed, that was after spending that faithful night together. I was naive back then. Young, so carefree, hurt. I was this child who was lost, trapped and alone. Then you came. You were like my childish hero I worshipped and hoped that someday will come. And indeed you saved me, from all of my loneliness and insecurities. That 1 month 21 days with you were bliss.

Then, the full moon would drive me nuts. The song we used to sing made me shed tears. I’d read those neatly written letters on those lil orange papers you gave me. I adopted your scent. I thought of what’s was and how it all was…and again shed tears.

I guess that was then. Now, ours was no more than a memory, an experience that gave me light to those bitterness I once had. After much pondering that I realized love at its weakest foundation would never last. I learned that from you, to never expect great things to happen, to never dream with my eyes open.

You never thought i’d grow up, but i did. I understand what happened that night: there i was lost and bewildered with a loss… you sort of feeling the same way. It was just excitement and curiosity that bonded us, trying to knot the tie that we both thought we had some things in common. I won’t deny that it as infatuation that brought us closer together at first…until it grew. Yes our feelings were sincere, until you woke up from the fantasy we were trying to build. And at first, I didn’t really understand what happened, for it seemed everything was perfect. It took me some time, a year or so mind you (hehe) until I knocked my self up.

Life went on so swiftly that i have no time contemplating anymore…until recently i recieved a message from you. I must admit it gave my heart a little twitch..that’s just it.  We lived our lives through the years that I almost forgot what was ours. But I really appreciate what you said… and the thing is, I’ve already forgiven you even before you said sorry. Hahahahaha ganun ako ka bait! But seriously, I’m one forgiving person. Everything’s ok now. I already gave up on us ages ago. And, though sadly, I also gave up on us being friends. It’s ok, I understand that we’re nothing more than acquaintances to each other. That’s fine with me, maybe it’s better that way.

Although, there’s this fact that kept ringing in my mind… that we were better off as friends than lovers. Really. We could have soared heights and reached some things that lovers could never have. But then again….

Well i hope everything’s fine with you there. I never had the chance to say thank you for the blissful times you spent with me. I loved (-ed) you with all my life, you know that, and I’m happy to have that.  You can still reach me, you know where to look…though not expecting… Oh well…that’s it for us hehehe God bless and thank you…