A Memory Like a Speck of Dust 

(for sony ericsson u5i,nubain and morphine)

A certain memory one is trying to forget is like a speck of dust...you wont be able to notice it until it gets into your eye and irritate it. Just like the following...

For nights I've been lying on my bed,thinking of things, how they were and how they should've been. Trying to discern every possible solution to every existing problem in my life. But most of the time, I caught my self in a trance,pictures haunt my mind,flashbacks ruling over my conciousness. 

The long journey was filled with this site... Forever imprinted in my memory

The sight of dust and the feel of warm air greeted me as I stepped down from the jeepney. I scanned the area for that specific bus I have to get on to. I was nervous then, the feeling of uncertainty almost overpowering me as I dialled your number. I was so frantic you were not able to answer right away,and so I sent you a sms and hurriedly checked each bus's signage. I breath a sigh of relief when I gathered up courage and actually done asking the dispatcher which bus to take. i was anxious to take this travel alone, my first ever trip to a place I've never been to. I sitted my self comfortably to one spot and ran my eyes to every corner of the vehicle, hoping I could see some familiar face who I could ask to if ever I'd ran into trouble,like, say, getting lost. Moments later my phone beeped, it was your reply. You just don't know how you could make me smile even with your simplest messages. Afterall, you were the one who told me to always smile... 

The journey is definitely long, i told my self but the anxiety of going to an almost unknown place and the thrill of it at the same time consumed me. As the bus moved, I was only thinking of one thing, that if ever I'd fall asleep, by the time I open my eyes I'd already be there, and you're there,waiting. The sights were all unfamiliar...long stretches of ricefields, limestone lined mountain sides... these feasted my eyes. And soon it became to grow dark. My anxiety returned as I tried to picture out the surroundings. I was bombarded with a lot of worries...what if I get lost! Oh man! That won't be pretty! But I have to be smart and compel my self to think clearly...well,just in case. 

And at last, as the bus halted to its intended destination, in a groggy state I lifted my self up the seat and tried to battle the dizziness of traveling for hours away. I gingerly stepped out of the bus and sighed.. So this is the place! Hmmm ok...thinking to my self.  I placed my bags on the passenger waiting area and waited. A tall familiar figure came up from behind me and smiled. I smiled back. You know how you make me smile. After a short chat of how the trip was,tiresome but fun really I said, we got unto one of those transpo ruling your place. I couldn't help but notice how you stared at me, which I really really liked that I have to stare back at you and we both giggled and gave a toothy smile at each other. We settled for the night in some place. As we entered the room I was feeling a little awkward since this is actually our first meeting as "no longer strangers" and "no longer neighbors". But I couldn't help but sink in your embrace for this is one of those things I so longed. Finally, I have to be with you,even if it would only last for a day at most. I sank deeper and deeper to this emotion that I had with you. If it was pure bliss then that would be it. 

You took me out for a while and shown me your world, where do you go, where you spend your time most. As we walked through that alley lit by a flickering night light,I remembered of how we were once walking pass each other, but you said those were the olden days since we are no longer those strangers. You leaned your head over my shoulder for a moment, and I wanted to hug you that time but of course we're at the wrong place for that. And how you made each move you made seem so unforgettable.

The next day, i learned I caused a lot of trouble for you during the wee hours of night and for that I shamingly said sorry. You gave me your toothy smile again and that imrpinted in me. Later I caught you laughing as we hussled through the market place for the thing I bought as "pasalubong". And who would ever forget the time you introduced me to dear little morphine and nubain.

I packed my bags and we both threaded the now busy street of your place and headed for the terminal. I looked at you for seemingly endless times and saved that picture inside me. We bid a good farewell and sweared we were at our happiest for the past 24 hours of our lives. Dust flew in the air as the warm air rose from the dry earth of the place. I closed the door of the L300 van as you turned your back,with morphine and nubain on tow rode the three wheeler and took off. And also as my transport moved, I would wish for things to come...that I'd be able to spend more time with you some other day. My mind was full of memories,happy they were all, as the van passed through town to town. I was greatly endulged with those memories of the past day that I never ever imagined..... that...would...be..possibly...the last time...I would ever....gaze upon that place....and you.....